The last couple of days have been a bit harder - I think exhaustion is starting to take its toll on both Liz and me, and so our ability to handle Hamish is fading out a bit. We're still trying to get the rhythm of his cycle right, but he hasn't settled down really.
He's not really making any progression with the breastfeeding either. We both know he's young yet, and its only been a week or so at home, but its disheartening when every feed is accompanied by total freak out screaming, even when he does attach properly in the end. I chose to let goldengrove
sleep on Thursday night and just gave him formula, and late last night we managed to have enough stocked breast milk to do the same after I got back home.
I feel terribly mean when I poke goldengrove
awake at 3am to feed him. I hate waking people up at the best of times, and when she's not been sleeping much, and we have a suspicion that Hamish is going to scream at us, it feels like I'm the worst person ever. goldengrove
reckons its like brain washing. She's woken up at random hours without getting enough sleep, someone yells at her sometimes, and there's a rhythmic whitenoise in her left ear (breast pump). We could probably program her to kill the Queen or something, but I'm really just too tired to even bother.
In other discouraging news, the usually fragile skin on my knuckles has given up the ghost from being washed constantly, and is now a ruined mess. It hurts to put them in hot water now. argh.
Its not all bad. He is sleeping pretty well, and gaining weight, and, well, not dead, which is a win from our point of view. We've had some socialisation, and people have brought us meals so we didn't have to think too much. The weather has been cooperative to washing a bucket load of baby stuff so its ready to use.